Traversing the Skies on Russian Airplanes with Lots of Babies

So right off the bat, I learned two things from my flight out of New York to Baku, Azerbaijan. 1. Do not smile or show positive expressions. You will get none in return. And 2. Former Russian block countries do not give a shit. That lesson came from finding out that most of the flight's drink service stemmed from "self serve". One of the spaces that divided the cabins had a bar of sorts, which the flight attendants eventually just left out orange, apple, tomato juice, tea and water for passengers to serve themselves. This actually worked pretty smoothly...as it was a 10 hour flight many people were looking for the chance to move around or stand. The self serve drink station turned to a sort of arbitrary coffee shop, complete with a guy who looked like Larry David chatting with many people. Larry David actually turned out to be sitting behind me & we enjoyed a sunrise together.

The flight attendants were fine at passing out the inflight meals, but sort of let it go in regards to collecting the eaten meals. I guess Azerbaijan Air is a clear-your-own plate kind of airline, since we all seemed to eventually just bring our trays to the the same bar area that later served as the drink station. 

I'm not sure if this is just how it's done and the norm, or special for the flight made up of Azerbaij and Israelis. This was basically the makeup of my flight. I immediately stood out as possibly the only American on the flight who did not speak Russian of Hebrew, nor seem to have a personal connection to Azerbaijan or Israel and be blonde.

As for myself, I lucked out and was seated in the front seat of a cabin; I had the window seat in a row of two. My seat mate gave the impression of being Russian, but I admit, I do not know, as we never exchanged a word. He was a guy, probably close to my age, who seemed to have a cavalier attitude to seat belts and a petulance for computer games like checkers and Backgammon. He was extremely helpful as I struggled with my "pushing the boundaries" sized carry on and was quite polite & quiet. Most likely to him, it seemed like I didn't get out much because I couldn't find where my meal tray was stashed, nor my tv screen, that once I did find, I had to almost wrestle in and out of where it was stashed. I'm sure I provided endless entertainment. 

Across the aisle from me was more or less all the babies ever. I don't know how conscious they were of the air travel they were in the middle of, but they ranged from asleep and at ease with what was happening, to freaking the fuck out. So that was a treat. Luckily, the only music I have in my iTunes is Taylor Swift, so Tay got me through some challenging moments as well as providing the soundtrack to the entire experience. As the babies cried, I tried to tune it out to "Shake It Off"; and once they finally fell asleep, I gazed out the plane window into a clear night lit by a full moon to "Out of the Woods". Taylor is currently one of my favourite human beings at the moment. 

Air travel is such a premise...You get thrown together with people from all walks of life, experiences, vocations and religions...according to the RomComs and comedians, you're either going to fall in love or it will be a hilarious comedy of errors. So neither my hypothetically Russian seatmate from the first flight, nor the two teenage Israeli boys I'm sitting with for my second flight seem to be having a love connection, I'm going to go with believing that I'm providing comedic behavior to the Eastern Europeans I'm interacting with. I just can't clearly tell because they don't really smile. 

Other notes on the travel: Baku's airport is incredibly modern, clean and architecturally pleasing. After I deplaned (which is one of my favourite words), most of the passengers from my NYC flight meandered towards passport control, which consisted of one guy sitting in a booth inspecting passports. To reiterate, pretty much all of my flight was continuing on to Tel Aviv, so that's roughly 100 people, some with small children, who needed to pass by this one guy to get their passports inspected. And then out of nowhere, all of the people with babies from across the aisle show up; apparently having all the babies means you get to skip the line. Yeah, that one took a lot of self control to get through. However, when I finally got up to the passport guy, he merely glanced at my passport & ticket before nodding me through. Thanks America! 

Then I found my way to "the Cocoon" area for a cup of expensive and relaxing black tea, which has proven to be very strong since I've been roughly up for 24+ hours and I feel very alive & aware! 

Now, on my second flight to Tel Aviv; this time I am seated in a row of three seats. I had the ticket for the window seat, but when I got to my row where I found only the middle seat between two 17 or 18 year old guys who looked to be friends. I thought it was nice of me to suggest that I just take the aisle seat and they could sit next to each other.  By doing that I may have possibly marked myself as their enemy. When the flight attendants came through with hot meals things got thrown off since I switched seats and then the guy in my window seat asked for a kosher meal-- which apparently are supposed to be preordered. So he really confused the flight attendants until I explained it and got things sorted out; meanwhile the guy in the middle seat asked if they might have some extra kosher meals. So it was a huge mess and when the flight attendant finally found two kosher meals, one guy wouldn't take it, even though I suggested it would make little difference if he did. He got all huffy and made it seem like it was my fault needless food was brought to him. So then we politely ignored each other's existence and watched RIO 2 on the airplane screen-- yes, the animated parrot movie. So yep, it's definitely a comedy! 

I made it safe and sound to Tel Aviv, my bags made it and I found my group! So that is all I have to report from the Middle East at this point! 

Lots of love,

Hannah